How long would you wait?

Right now, I'm just sitting in my kitchen, looking out at the winter wasteland I call home while listening to A Thousand Years, covered by Megan & Liz and Paradise Fears, two of my most favorite groups. I'm in love with the sound of them, and Liz and Sam's voices just blend so well together that I had to find a download of the song so I could use it for this post, but then it won't let me add sound files, so it was just a problem that I'll just let die. If you don't know the song, find it! Then you'll totally understand this post.

So, the point right now is that love takes it's time. It isn't quick, and it isn't painless, though many of us would hope that it would just come and leave as easily as the seasons do. But, at the same time, our lives are so short and often so short-lived that we often don't find all the answers to the questions that we have everyday. I find that, no matter how many answers I get, I just have more questions that burn my mind. Right now, the main question is on patience and waiting.

How long can we safely wait for something, but not feel like we have put everything on hold for that one person? I wonder, in my life, if this patient and slow road is the right way to go. I'm not sure that either way would have made much of the difference in my life three months ago when this event started, but now... when I've held back my life for this one person for so long.... How long is long enough? When do we move on?

The answer has come plain and simple: once it isn't worth the time- that is to say, when you feel hurt by it more than you feel joy from it. Now yes, we may say that we would wait for that one, right person for forever, but it isn't realistic. Life isn't going to agree with that fairytale-romance. Eventually, we all have to get on with life, and by waiting for love to finally find us, we just hurt ourselves even more by trying to keep that painful, agonizing hurt close to our hearts.

I'm not saying that you can't wait. Your life is whatever you want it to be. But, not always is what you think you need what you actually do. Sometimes, we need to let go and move our lives towards the next experience. If it does take a lifetime to forget the hurt and pain, then why not move towards the next moment where things get better?

Whatever you choose, I wish you all the luck in everything and anything you do. Don't let anyone, ANYONE, decide for you. Make your life what you want it. If you want to wait for that perfect person, then do it. Have no regret in that choice.

Peace and love to all <3

Thought of the Week- 'Only a Lifetime'

It's that time again! I'm so glad to be putting up another quote :) This one is featuring some of my photography edited with this awesome software. I love the turnout, and I hope you guys agree.

So, the theme right now, as it is the season, has shifted towards Love. It's a subject that we all hate to address cause it can bring up some pent-up resentment or ills towards some of those around us. Case and point, no matter what happens, or how you've been hurt, it won't matter later on in life anyway. Why should anyone- even those close to you- inhibit your ability to love and be loved? It's just plain stupid.

My focus in my life right now is on a certain someone. Needless to say, I feel like I'm a side-character in the novel of their life. It's almost like I'm just something to fill the time. It's a nasty feeling, and it tends to bring increased stress and problems. Well, two nervous breakdowns and some tears later, I've decided to confront the problem all together. But, this isn't all about me, and it isn't about how the problems happen. This post is about how to conquer them with as little trouble as possible.

We all will have problems and complications in life- I guarentee it. Perhaps you come from a split-family and it makes commitment an issue to believe in; maybe you've been hurt by everyone around you, even the people you trusted more than anyone, and now you feel like no one cares; or you just feel so alone that you have no where and no one to turn to for help. Love is an escape from that. But, in a way, we need rescue from love, too, if we aren't careful...

Love is hard to deal with, yes. Its a fickle sword that sometimes bites back when we least expect it. People we trusted proved to be wrong for us and they hurt us when we didn't think it was possible. It'll happen, and I'm sorry to say that it's a fact of life. It's bound to happen, and not just once. But, those people, it will take the rest of your LIFE to get over them and forget how badly you were hurt by them. I'm not saying never fall in love and don't search for the one you want to be with, but I am saying that you have to be oh so careful with your heart; once it gets broken, it's nearly impossible to put back together, and there will always be a hole where they where in your heart.

Until that day, when you are hurt beyond repair, live life to the fullest, as if you've never been hurt before. You will be so much happier if you only try to smile away the pain and blink back the tears. Those times will pass, I promise.

Peace and happiness to everyone <3

From Camera to Canvas

Alright, so I haven't forgotten the original purpose of this blog, which is sharing my art and being able to have a place where people can see the work that I do. Yes, I love the whole sappy-love stuff, the quotes and advice, but it's also important to show my work.

I've loved photography for years, and I'm just getting back into using my camera more often. Here are just a couple shots that I've snapped over the past few months

Sunrise (summer clouds)

Frigid Beauty (a tree near my house)

  

An Ocean View (Santa Monica Beach, Cali)



Yes, these are just simple shots, nothing cool. I'll post those later (; But here's my pride. The piece is titled Fractured. It's a black canvas of tempera with mirror fragments over the top. For me, it symbolized the fact that my life as I knew it was drawing to an end, the reality that was so dark underneath finally coming to full light. It's a hard fact, but I'm living with it. My art is my release... It is how I find beauty in a life full of pain.

Fractured

I love art, and this is just a sample of what you guys will be seeing if you visit, in addition to the fun little quotes and life tips and lessons. This blog is as much about life as it is art, and the lessons I've found through all the tears and pain.

 

Til next time, peace and love to all! <3

The Heart of Communication

I've thought a lot recently about communication and how we talk with those close to us. What happened to conversation and phone calls? There nearly non-existant nowadays. In the mass of texts, IM, Facebook, Twitter... Even blogging! we seem to have lost that real communication.

When was the last time you had a heart-to-heart conversation with someone close to you? When did you call someone you care about but can't see cause they are too far or they just weren't there? In this age of technology and instant relpy, we seem to have lost the fundamentals that have made us who we are. Socially, people are inhibited by the fact that they do nothing but rely on technology.

I personally miss long conversations that could take hours over the phone, or in person, as they have now been replaced by a mass of bits and characters.

So think about how you communicate your love to those around you. If they really matter, can't you tell them that in person? Try being a person, not just the controller for a change. It's better to see their face when you tell them something like that :)

All a Matter of Time

So, unless you've just joined up reading, I think you've realized that Quotes are kinda big for me. So, every week, I think I'll be posting up a picture with some inspirational saying, probably something more to help me, but also for you all to understand why this is so important.

Life is never very straight forward; it twists and turns, often in directions that we didn't think could be possible at the time. Many times in our lives, surprises will find us, no matter how figured-out we think it may be. I'm just fully realizing this myself...

Worrying about life is one of the worst things we can do. If builds up fear and depression, and it often leads to closing ourselves off from those who want to help us see how full and wonderful life can be. Besides, if you worry about every little thing that crosses your way, you'll be left with nothing in your past but a bunch of fears and tears.

Everything comes at it's own pace and in it's own way. We may want things to come to us when we think it should, or maybe we expect that things will naturally just be what we want. This is not true; we have so little power over our lives, especially when it come to others. That fact has scared me for the past three months. Until now, I didn't even think about it like that. I just kept hoping for the hopless, foolishly blind to truth and reason. After stepping back, breathing in fresh air and thinking it over, I've realized that I've been wrong ever since I started this venture.

Everything comes in a matter of time. It may take days, years, even a lifetime for things to become what we want of them. But, if it's meant to happen, it will. Just because it takes some time to come along doesn't mean it never will. It just isn't time for it yet. There are still other things that have to be realized first.

Don't worry about it. Just let yourself enjoy what you have, and be open to what will come. you'll never know how happy it will make you when it actually does become yours ;)

A Bit of Inspiration...

Well, no sense in not starting off with something to make the people think :)

Life right now is kinda like a coin. It has two sides, there are two ways to look at who we are, and there are two different options can be taken to develope choices.

A great man said, "Do we live to die, or do we live to be alive?" Right now, my life is on hold for someone. I've let myself wait out months of pain and rage and suffering in order to try and work with this possibility. Personally, I want to follow the path of holding on to that hope and that desire, on the off chance that things work out; 'It gets better.' That's what I've been hoping for.

But recently, a close friend of my has helped me look at that other perspective for a moment, to see if from another light. 'Sometimes there are situations where you need to learn to see what's wrong and say enough is enough,' she said. I understand where she's coming from; this venture isn't exactly smart, and it isn't going anywhere very fast. It's not healthy for me, as it has taken control of my mind and my heart. Maybe I am wrong, but I do see that I'm settling for something that isn't helping me or my intrests.

I've been searching for anwers for years now about who I am supposed to be. I've never really found a solid path that made the most sense to me at all. I really want to understand, but to know everything as I wish I could, I would have to be dead, and that is far down on the list of things I need to do. So I have to wait anyway, but maybe not for everything.

"Knowing isn't as important as the process of discovering." We all have a journey in life, a path we have to follow, and mine is only begun. We all need to allow life to continue, even if it means leaving behind some of the things that we may want. There are other chances, other times, other people. Not everything has to be realized now.

You shouldn't give up, but don't go on waiting forever.

The Artist